Peace on Earth Starts with Birth?

You can imagine my delight, as I paid for my gas in Stratford, that staring back at me on the cover of Time magazine was the gorgeous image of a heavily pregnant woman and the words that framed her. The words said something like this:
How the first nine months shape the rest of your life

HOW THE FIRST NINE MONTHS SHAPE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!!

My obvious delight took the store attendant by surprise:
Me - "Do you have any more copies of this in the back?"
Attendant - "Copies of Time Magazine? The one with the naked lady on front?"
Me - "Yes, the one with the pregnant woman on the front."
Attendant - "No, I think these are the last ones - do you want to pay for your gas?"
Me - "Yes, yes I do and I will take these as well, thank you."

I got a half-hearted, "she's clearly crazy" good bye as I left the store, and if I hadn't been driving I would have read the whole thing before continuing on to Waterloo. I left one of the magazines in the back of the car for my daughter to read on the way home, and read it she did. For years, I have been absolutely, positively sure that how our mothers are with us when we are pregnant determines how well we are in life. The physical environment, the emotional environment, our mother's nutrition, the amount of love she feels when she is pregnant, her demographic - all of this shapes us - it SHAPES us before we journey to this plane. Our cells change dependant on the emotional state of our mothers and fathers. We now have scientists, psychologists, researchers and skeptics interested enough in FETAL ORIGINS to study these concepts. Perinatal and prenatal psychology has been my passion for years - understanding a baby's experience, understanding the mum's experience, correlating the energy that passed between them - THIS IS WHAT WE MUST EDUCATE OUR SOCIETY ABOUT!!!! To say peace on earth begins with birth is only partly true - a good birth is determined by more than just the 3 P's - the passage, the passenger, the path - the PSYCHE of both the mother and the baby play the biggest role in the birth. Encoded with fear, a child would find it difficult to enter our plane. Encoded with fear, a woman finds it difficult to birth. There is more to the fear=tension=pain cycle than just contractions. It lies much deeper than that. It runs deeper than core beliefs. It comes out in huge realizations, a ha moments in safe circles. I have born witness to it in dozens of my Calm Mum classes. Surrounded by women, safe in non judgment we can allow ourselves to access what we know is true.... that some of the baggage we carry is not ours -just as it did not belong to our mothers. Some of it is encoded so deep within us that we are only able to realize it as we recognize it in someone else. Recognizing, feeling this in other women and allowing it to come to the surface in our own cells is powerful, powerful work. This work allows a deeper connection to our own children. This recognition can help us heal. We can become better mothers, daughters, wives, sisters, friends.... better human beings. We are not human havings or human doings.... we are human beings. Being allowed to fully feel the scope of our emotions, being able to explore them, understand them and then process them. This all begins before birth and this needs to be taught to relate to ourselves and all of those around us. Take a step back and then one more - learn how you are what you are.

Loving the Imperfect

I am grasping the concept of Wabi Sabi. To accept the imperfection of all and rejoice in the natural beauty of it is my best explanation of wabi sabi. The Japanese term has been presented to me by the universe many times, yet it is only since I have accepted my own imperfection that I can practise wabi sabi in earnest. There is absolutely natural imperfect perfection in everything. Living nose to the grindstone in a toxic job with a micromanaging overseer does not allow you to accept imperfection. Accepting imperfection and its splendor only happens when we can take enough time to observe and see it through a quiet heart. Self-empathy is a good starting point.

Softening to our feelings, allowing them to present themselves and then breathing into them- to give them life, to let them grow- allows us to see our imperfection, but better yet, to feel it. Just as the well placed, naturally occuring cracks in a well loved piece of pottery demonstate an understanding of wabi sabi, allowing our own "cracks" in our characters to shine through, to be admired, accepted and loved will let us feel that we too, have a purpose. In all of our imperfection there is sweet purpose. All we need to do is love it.