Grounding - The Multiplicity of the Word

For me, letting go of that which no longer serves me has become a mantra. In my parenting classes and workshops I tell the parents that I wish I had adopted the "No praise, no punishment" mantra as well, years ago. Holding space for constant praise does not allow a child to develop their own sense of self - perpetual praise means that a child is viewed and valued based on their accomplishments and achievements. For parents, we run out of the energy to hold our children in this way - their self-worth, their mood, their demeanor is determined by how valued they feel based on how well they accomplished their task or participated and contributed in their chosen sport or competition. How many of us as adults still need stroking, praise and approval to prove to us that we are valuable? How many of us do more and have the disease to please? How many of us are aware that this is the fast track to burn out for both ourselves and our children?
I am in love with the notion of grounding. Grounding means taking things, events, expendable energy away and bringing things to a center. I don't believe in it anymore as punishment, but as a way to calm a soul fever, to bring things back into perspective and to allow each of us to come home to ourselves. If we are physically sick, we are grounded. If our soul has a fever and we are overwhelmed, exhausted, or burnt out we need to strip away all the excesses and be grounded. I work with families and see childrens' attention spans, concentration and emotional availability improve when they are grounded - in the love and time of their parents. We need to stop over-scheduling and allow them time to play, to not be overloaded with too much adult information and television, scheduled play and expectations. Connecting, loving and disconnecting from external stimuli are what our children and we ourselves crave. We are completely hard wired to connect with each other. Grounding in this love sometimes means missing extended family celebrations, not doing the laundry, not staying late for a meeting and perhaps missing a favourite sport. It also means healing, loving and coming home to ourselves.