Stopping The Tantrums

What if we were to understand that temper tantrums are caused by parents? I am running workshops titled "Stopping The Tantrums" because so many of my registrants in my Calm Mum classes ask me how to deal with tantrums. Let's look at what transpires with a tantrum (and for the record I hate the word - it is really a cry for help) and how we react. First things first - most of us make the first mistake with a tantrum by reacting. If we learned to respond to our children, tantrums would not exist. Tantrums are a cry for attention, a plea for time, a desire to connect. Adults have tantrums too - we display them in behaviours, attitudes, pleas and cries. Different types of tantrums have different resolutions, different needs to be addressed, different concerns to be processed. Empathy works wonders in the first step to resolution with tantrums, as does being connected, not diminishing your child and making them feel safe. It is amazing what we learn about ourselves when we watch our children - they are really just reflecting our own behaviours back to us, as hard as that may be to hear.